TO MY LOVER

May 28, 2013

Dear Mr. Inspiration,

You know that I’m not good with putting words together to be perfectly said so I tried this thing which I called confession rather than love letter to tell you everything which I can’t say in front of you.  I want you to understand just how important you are to me, how important you will always be, even if our time spent together for the past years don’t reflect that much.  And as I write this “awkward thing”, which I know that will sounds corny and cheesy, I want to let you know that I have only the fondest feelings for you.

First of all, I want to thank you for being the man I truly looked up and my inspiration since the day I first saw your name on that tarpaulin in school.  Who will imagine that the name of that guy will soon be my first ever man to love?  Second, honestly, you are the reason behind why I cut my hair short all my college life.   I was stressed every time these feelings grew too fast.  It sounds lame but that is my way to ease from distress.   Lastly, until now I can’t picture us together as couple, not in the sense that I don’t want us to be in a relationship, but because I don’t know if I’m just dreaming or maybe God is just too good to hear my all-time prayer.   Hello, everyone around us knew how much I love you; they even named me martyr.  It’s just you who’s clueless about me.

Of course no one knows how long relationships last, maybe temporarily or forever.  But I want to tell you now that I am thankful to you that you gave me the privilege to experience this feeling of being loved.  I thought something like this can only be seen in those movies and series I watched. 

I love you from your toe nails to the last strand of your hair.  I love how you talk to me with those eyes looking at mine.  I love our adventures together.   I love how you listen to my lame stories and remember those unimportant and too minor things about me.  I love how our random conversation goes.  I love your goals in life for yourself, family and loved ones.  I love it when we rode those buses at night.  I love how you motivate me when I’m depress and not in the mood to push myself to the limit.  I love those memories from 5 years ago until now we’re together.  I love it when you hold my hands, kiss and hug me.  Even though your time for things is limited, I know you will always find ways to date and go out with me.  And for all those things you've done, I want to say is I LOVE YOU.

From Your Fan,

Ruru

EVERYTHING’S PAID OFF

 
At that very moment, while sitting in a room where ticking of the clock, push-buttoned calculators, and breathing of examinees are the only things you can hear, can make you realize definite things for yourself in the future.  The room is air cooled but I’m sweating while holding my pencil and thinking certain formulas to use in that hundred itemed engineering questions.

I can say that I’ve done everything I could to pass that make-it or break-it test and failing does not have room in my head.  Also, I didn’t mean to reminisce those past 6 months of review and preparation just to get inspiration and push my fatigued brain to its limit. All I do is pray to Him for guidance, strength, knowledge and confidence when distressing and lack of self-belief hit me.  I thought about my family, friends, and loved ones who believe in my ability to pass.  I also thought about the days I attended my review classes, days I rejected everyone’s invitation to party, days I want to give up, and the days when I dream t about my future as a professional that’s why I tried to focus till the last minute of the exam.

And today is the day I’ve been waiting for, the result from all hard work I’ve done for the past year.  I can’t sleep; I have these butterflies in my stomach but I’m neither worried nor confident enough to absorb what His plans for my tomorrow.  Yes it’s today, when everything will be decided.   

7 HOURS LATER…

            I went to my usual Thursday routine, going to church, but this time it’s different… I went there with all confidence, whatever the result maybe, to thank Him for giving me the chance to experience that mad day.

And the moment of truth came; a friend called me and congratulated me.  My hands were shaking and I was about to cry, but everything seemed blurred and nothing sank in me for the next minute.  Hard work paid off!  I can’t believe I really did something relevant in my life like this achievement.  I thank everyone especially to those who prayed and believed in my potential.  I can’t explain the emotions I’m experiencing right now.  Yes, there are no secrets to success.  It is the result of your willingness to achieve it and I can now proudly say that I PASS!!! TO GOD BE THE GLORY!