BECAUSE OF A HOT COFFEE IN A RAINY DAY

Anata,

I am sitting alone in a cafe today drinking your favourite coffee, Macchiato.  While waiting for the rain to stop pouring heavily outside, I noticed a couple few tables over.  I can see how they’re so in love just by looking into each other’s sparkling eyes while telling their stories, and because of that, I thought of you. 

Today is one of our special days to celebrate.  There are some instances that we need to consider instead of being with you now.  Even though we’re not together at this very moment, I know that we will spend more time mutually in the future.  I don’t care to what other people’s thoughts in our relationship since I am confident to continue this journey because I am truly happy inside and mostly is  I trust you. 

I love you, I am sorry if I don’t say that often.  You are as important as my family and friends, in a very different and most unusual way. No matter what may happen down the road, you can always count on me because you know that I am you’re biggest fan.  Also, thank you for all of your advices and stories.  I can stay awake in late nights and wait for you to be home and spend some time listening to your voice. 

From your lover,

Ruru

P.S. I almost forgot, the Macchiato was nice but I still prefer a venti of cappuccino. hehehe Thank you for the date yesterday.

HAPPY 3RD MONTHSARY. FOREVER TO GO. :)

TO MY LOVER

May 28, 2013

Dear Mr. Inspiration,

You know that I’m not good with putting words together to be perfectly said so I tried this thing which I called confession rather than love letter to tell you everything which I can’t say in front of you.  I want you to understand just how important you are to me, how important you will always be, even if our time spent together for the past years don’t reflect that much.  And as I write this “awkward thing”, which I know that will sounds corny and cheesy, I want to let you know that I have only the fondest feelings for you.

First of all, I want to thank you for being the man I truly looked up and my inspiration since the day I first saw your name on that tarpaulin in school.  Who will imagine that the name of that guy will soon be my first ever man to love?  Second, honestly, you are the reason behind why I cut my hair short all my college life.   I was stressed every time these feelings grew too fast.  It sounds lame but that is my way to ease from distress.   Lastly, until now I can’t picture us together as couple, not in the sense that I don’t want us to be in a relationship, but because I don’t know if I’m just dreaming or maybe God is just too good to hear my all-time prayer.   Hello, everyone around us knew how much I love you; they even named me martyr.  It’s just you who’s clueless about me.

Of course no one knows how long relationships last, maybe temporarily or forever.  But I want to tell you now that I am thankful to you that you gave me the privilege to experience this feeling of being loved.  I thought something like this can only be seen in those movies and series I watched. 

I love you from your toe nails to the last strand of your hair.  I love how you talk to me with those eyes looking at mine.  I love our adventures together.   I love how you listen to my lame stories and remember those unimportant and too minor things about me.  I love how our random conversation goes.  I love your goals in life for yourself, family and loved ones.  I love it when we rode those buses at night.  I love how you motivate me when I’m depress and not in the mood to push myself to the limit.  I love those memories from 5 years ago until now we’re together.  I love it when you hold my hands, kiss and hug me.  Even though your time for things is limited, I know you will always find ways to date and go out with me.  And for all those things you've done, I want to say is I LOVE YOU.

From Your Fan,

Ruru

EVERYTHING’S PAID OFF

 
At that very moment, while sitting in a room where ticking of the clock, push-buttoned calculators, and breathing of examinees are the only things you can hear, can make you realize definite things for yourself in the future.  The room is air cooled but I’m sweating while holding my pencil and thinking certain formulas to use in that hundred itemed engineering questions.

I can say that I’ve done everything I could to pass that make-it or break-it test and failing does not have room in my head.  Also, I didn’t mean to reminisce those past 6 months of review and preparation just to get inspiration and push my fatigued brain to its limit. All I do is pray to Him for guidance, strength, knowledge and confidence when distressing and lack of self-belief hit me.  I thought about my family, friends, and loved ones who believe in my ability to pass.  I also thought about the days I attended my review classes, days I rejected everyone’s invitation to party, days I want to give up, and the days when I dream t about my future as a professional that’s why I tried to focus till the last minute of the exam.

And today is the day I’ve been waiting for, the result from all hard work I’ve done for the past year.  I can’t sleep; I have these butterflies in my stomach but I’m neither worried nor confident enough to absorb what His plans for my tomorrow.  Yes it’s today, when everything will be decided.   

7 HOURS LATER…

            I went to my usual Thursday routine, going to church, but this time it’s different… I went there with all confidence, whatever the result maybe, to thank Him for giving me the chance to experience that mad day.

And the moment of truth came; a friend called me and congratulated me.  My hands were shaking and I was about to cry, but everything seemed blurred and nothing sank in me for the next minute.  Hard work paid off!  I can’t believe I really did something relevant in my life like this achievement.  I thank everyone especially to those who prayed and believed in my potential.  I can’t explain the emotions I’m experiencing right now.  Yes, there are no secrets to success.  It is the result of your willingness to achieve it and I can now proudly say that I PASS!!! TO GOD BE THE GLORY!    

MOTIVATION TO MYSELF

Every second counts for this last month of preparation for my licensure exam.  Sadly, the condition of my body does not cooperate with my determination to pass.  I know passing is easy to people who believe and claim that they will pass even before they start their training.  And for me, I know that I am craving for success that is why I will not entertain obstacles in front of my goal anymore for I gone through enough experience of depression, stress, pressure, self doubts, discontentment, and everything that pushes me down.  I pray everyday that He may bless and provide me strength so that I can focus on my studies thus grant me the motivation to learn.

I don’t know if I am ready to take the test but I am sure on one thing which is the overflowing excitement inside me for the final day to come.  Waiting will soon be over.  Outcome to all the effort that I gave will be seen and the written plans will begin in next to no time.  

Regrets are for people who realize that they lack effort to achieve a goal and let many chances passed them.  I don’t want to suffer that feeling.  Therefore, I keep pushing myself to victory not only for myself but also for the certain people who support me from the start.  Fighting spirit has grown in me.  I am confident that I have backups if I fail once and will keep trying if I do.  I just have to be consistent with the right attitude towards every given situation.  So from now on, I need to set my mind that I can do it!!!  ONE MONTH TO GO. LET’S DO THIS ENGINEER ME!